PUSSY CATS.
I have three little kittens that need homes, peoples. Cute, black, fluffy balls of sleepy, cuddly, playful joy. And cat litter. So, if you happen to be after a kitten, or know somebody who can give them a good home, please, please let me know. I'm not allowed to keep all four, so I have to find homes for three. Please, poeplefolk, you have to go about and advertise. But, obviously, in England. Or Wales, if you want to go that far. But, humans, I'm serious. I need help. Comment if you can do anything for me, or reach me through any way you can.
Faaaanks.
So, a happy 4th of July to you American readers. I say that like I actually have American readers. I think I have one at least, so it's fine. Happy 4th of July! Usually I spend this day being sarcastic in the rain about Americans. But I do that most days. You know, it's not too late to change your minds about this independence malarkey. But if you're particularly set on spending today being overly sentimental about fireworks, please go ahead.
Alas, my Britons, I must offer our American cousins something for their...special day. Heh.
Dearest America,
('Memebase')Happy 4th of July!
With love,
Daphne.
Posts
Daffers, you are just absolutely the best. Note, you have at least one American reader on account of because I follow your perfection faithfully. You never fail to leave me laughing to the point of tears, even when you're making fun of me and my countrymen - everything you say is completely accurate, by the way, and anyone who disagrees is probably insane. Thanks for making my day, Dearie.
ReplyDeleteAh, I was having such a horrible evening, and that just made me smile properly for the first time all day. Thank you, my most loyal disciple. You shall be rewarded greatly when my divine presence enlightens the rest of the world. Love. Luck. Tea. <3
Delete