Mexico, Chinese people, Cyanide and Happiness.

Good evening, all. The sun is out, I've finished school for the next two weeks, and the amount of work I have to do over the break is only a little bit heartbreaking. Okay, a lot heartbreaking. But I can forget about that for a little while. While the others stew in the hot tub for a bit, I thought I'd take this opportunity to generally confuse, and worry you.
There are few things of note today. The first being that le Kellen is off awandering Mexico as of this evening. He says he'll buy me something shiny, so I guess I don't mind. I like shiny things.
The second is that on Wednesday morning, my History teacher played me a video telling me that all the Chinese people are going to steal our jobs if we don't educate ourselves enough. It's a fair point, I mean, why would you, as an employer, hire a western worker with high wages, and expectations of three weeks paid holiday a year, when you could hire a Chinese worker- with the same, if not greater, skill, that expects fewer privileges? (I'm not saying they don't deserve the same working conditions as westerners, but you know what I'm trying to say.) So, anyways, I've been freaking out ever since. Studying and working like a lunatic so that the Chinese students in my year don't beat me. *winning smile*
That was all a bit intense. Here. Enjoy this. From Cyanide and Happiness- which I adore.

Daphne.

I'm too tired to write something witty here.

People need to stop getting one up on my wit. Seriously, gold munching friend whose name will not be mentioned, if you steal my laughs once more, I will cut out your voice box. Pleaseandthankyou. DoesitbotheryouthatI'mnotputtingspacesin? InfactImighttypelikethisjusttopissyouoff. Actuallyit'sannoyingme.I'mgoingtostopthisnow.... Right, well. That was refreshing. The perfect grammar cleansing experience.
This weekend, Mother's German friend, Jutta, will be visiting. It gives me an excuse to say things like "Hallo, wie gehts?" without being judged. Turns out, people judge you if you bark directions at your friends in German around school. "im Schritt- Marsch!" Is not appropriate.

Daphne.

First Years, Blogs, and Werther's Originals.

Hallo, my pretties. It's me. Don't feel you have to applaud. *cough*
So, lately I've been trying to get back into blogging. A silly idea really, I have quite enough to be suffocating me, but if procrastination was an Olympic sport, I'd so win gold. Now, I reckon the key to becoming a good blogger is to read lots of other blogs. And, I'm just not sure where to start, so any suggestions would be jolly spiffing, chaps.
Yes. I really did just say "jolly spiffing, chaps." You can keep that one.
My, my, my. What to ramble about this morning? Well, I nearly caught a first year with a Werther's Original yesterday. Sadly, said first year got suspicious and my friend ate the sweets instead. Oh the trials and tribulations. It's almost like you're not supposed to trick first years into your orbit with confectionary. Next time.
Love. Luck. Tea.


Daphne.

Blogger Awards, and the like.

Firstly, a massive thank you to Natalie. Wah! I'm so touched. "Daphne is English and hilarious and I love her. This is another brilliant blog that I often find myself in tears over. Mhmmm." That was one of the loveliest things anybody's ever said about me, you darling.
I've never been awarded for a blog- actually, the closest I come to that is a dozen 'likes' on my Facebook status. Mazzletoff. But more of my dwellings in the social misadventure that is Facebook later.
So, AWARDS. *maniac giggle* As I understand it, my pretties, the rules are as follows:
Eins) Tell everyone something they didn't know before.
Zwei) Link to one of my blogs that I personally think best fit the following categories: Most Beautiful, Most Helpful, Most Popular, Most Controversial, Most Surprisingly Successful, Most Underrated, and Most Pride Worthy. (Wha-? I don't think I can fulfill this. I'm just not that diverse. Sort of like vanilla ice cream- you can dress it up any which way you like, but at the end of the day, it's still a chubby white kid...I mean, it's still vanilla ice cream. Was that politically incorrect? Meh. Jeremy Clarkson would get away with it, so will I.)
Drei) Pass this award on to seven other bloggers. (PROBLEM. I only know of three. Will three do? Tchyeah.. It'll have to, my faithful disciples.)
                                                                                   *

Something that nobody else knows: Doesn't this defy the point of a secret? Fools. Who thought this one up?

LINKEN AUF MEIN BLOGGEN. Yes, I made that German up.

Most Pride Worthy goes to: http://olddaffersisoffagain.blogspot.com/2011/11/adventures-of-golden-slipper-woman-and.html
Admittedly, I may have been a) tired  or b)brilliant . You decide.

Most Under-rated: http://olddaffersisoffagain.blogspot.com/2011/10/sadistic-art-of-pumpkin-carving.html
Just... read it. Even I surprise myself sometimes.

Most Surprisingly Successful: http://olddaffersisoffagain.blogspot.com/2012/03/have-i-told-you-lately-that-i-love-you.html
My latest blog, on which in the comments I found the lovely Natalie had nominated me for an award. Dead chuffed.
Most Controversial: http://olddaffersisoffagain.blogspot.com/2011/10/pennies-prince-philip-and-jeremy.html
Okay, so Prince Philip hasn't always been the height of political correctitude, and equality, but God damn, that man's beautiful.

Most Popular: I have failed you. No, no, let me explain- no, stop shouting, please! For the love of God, it's all my fault...I can't decide. Have a gawk, see what you reckon.

Most Helpful: HA. Don't be silly. I'm never helpful in my blogging sprees.

Most Beautiful: http://olddaffersisoffagain.blogspot.com/2011/11/lest-we-forget.html
I can't say for certain why, but I think the title does it justice. Tell me what you think.

Now, I want to tell you about a few blogs I'm following.

http://lovelynonsensities.blogspot.com/ and http://lovelynonsensities.blogspot.com/: Natalie writes long, sometimes intense, sometimes lighthearted delights. I could read my way through her mind all day, if staring at computers didn't give me square eyes, kids.

http://www.blogger.com/profile/12470917995768284791: Mamma Dunford. I sort of want to adopt her. Check out her arty crafty blogging sprees. I think her creative streak ran into my gorgeous friend Ria, who never fails to produce intricate cards and notebooks an' all that jazz.

Right, I've rattled for quite long enough, I reckon. Glad tidings.

Daphne.

Have I told you lately that I love you? Well, darling, I'm telling you now...

Hallo. I am, infact, NOT dead. Hoorah!
You were all worried for weeks on end, not eating, not drinking, barely sleeping, I'm certain.
Never fear, my beautiful, beautiful, disciples, for the Lord your God is with you. I have returned to blogland for a little while to dedicate today's mix of stress induced headache, chocolate milkshake, and being hit on by Base kids to a couple of particularly ace people... Yes. I just said ace. You're freaking welcome, kids, it's here all week.
The first is my wonderful, most fantastic walking calculator, beautiful little redhead, Ria. Ria, if you're reading this, I love you. You make the days more bearable with your witty little comments about my love of a certain maths teacher's "peachy" arse. Ah, that old man really does have the most squeezable- ANYWAY. Yes. I love Ria like I love soft mints.
The second is my own personal goth whore. Keesh. This is your turn. And Caitlin and I have a plan to chuck you into the river when we take you camping this summer. I don't recall telling you that.
The third is to my peoples. Peoples like Schweird. Gotta have a bit o' Schweird in your life. And the inferiors.
The fourth is to an American. Even if he is American, I guess I still love him. And his artistic interpretations of Bill Cosby.
The fifth is to Mamma Dunford. Who I hear has been staying faithful to Daphne. Which I love.
The sixth is to you, if you took the time to read this crap.
Love. Luck. Tea.

Daphne.

NB: Yes, the title IS quoting Vera Lynn/ Elvis/ Rod Stewart/ Van Morrison- whichever you prefer. Let's go with the beautiful Vera Lynn.